I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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