I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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