i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
