Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
