Can Purell be used as lube?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
