my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
