hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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