my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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