Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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