You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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