so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize