Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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