i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
