so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Can vaginas get frostbite?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
