This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
