ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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