Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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