it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
