The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
