So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I AM VODKA MAN
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
