you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
