I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
