Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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