i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
