Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
