Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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