im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
