Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Couch. On fire.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
