Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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