Where did you get a picture of my penis
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
