New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
