Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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