my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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