I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
