Tell her she can't have a vagina
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
