The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
