Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
