i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
