I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
