It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
