If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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