i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
