We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i drank out of a bidet.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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