Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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