i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
