I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
