i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
