She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
