You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
