Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Randomize
