No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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