You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
