he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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