I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just had sex bonerless
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
