her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Randomize
