There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
