I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
