all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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