i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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