Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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