I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
