I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
