i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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