Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
