I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
